Friday, January 11, 2008

Never Enough

For some people it's never enough.
The little bit they have isn't worth their gratitude.
For my mother, nothing is ever enough, nothing is ever good enough for her, nothing is achievable unless she says so and she never does.
She just graduated from beauty school today, her friends threw confetti and glitter and she even got a fancy diploma, but even so, even with the fake red smiles on the outside, she reserves her frowns and bitterness for us. And once she targets one of us she shoots.
Some times she misses sometimes she hit right on target. Today she got me and it hurt.
Like a ship sinking, I thought I had the situation in control till water started to get in and everyone's support for me, if they had any disappeared and I started to sink.
I was the bad guy now, and either they didn't look at me, or scowled at me.
All I said was that I was sad because I wouldn't get to walk in my graduation with the rest of my friends.
TO which my mom replied
"I don't care, don't even talk to you about your school, or how you feel about school. If you need to talk to someone about that then talk to your dad."

Well obviously it made me feel sad but for some reason, I was the bad guy. Somehow I'm not even sure how she twisted it around so that I was the one at fault.
When will I have enough? Enough of trying to make people who don't love me, at least like me?
I should stop, and just accept things. You can't change yourself to fit the world, you can only change the world to fit you.

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