Sunday, August 19, 2007


So I'm looking up school notes and I see that this coming week our journal entry has to be about promises. At first I felt an irresistible smirk come on, promises. pfft.
I don't make promises. I don't need to, either you do what you're told, or you don't. The end, you shouldn't go around compromising yourself if you don't even know what could end up really happening.
So I began to write...
"In my family we don't make promises anymore, we just do it, and either we do what we are told, and we do it well, or we don't do it at all....."

then a though occurred to me.

"One person in my family, however, did make a life changing promise. When my grandma took in my mom and promised to take care of her till she was old enough to look after herself, she did not foresee taking care of her niece through a war which broke out in El Salvador during the early to late 80's..."

and then it all just came, like thought vomit, only it wasn't vomit, it was actually...meaningful...

"She did not foresee taking care of her through murder and crime, through safe houses in Nicaragua, and through a racist, and xenophobic Costa Rica. But she did, she took her safely out of the war by illegally leaving El Salvador, and settling down in Costa Rica. She watched over her through elementary school, through high school, through hardships of poverty, and news of war back home, till my mom walked her college graduation ceremony; diploma in hand. My grandma decided at this point my mom could look after herself and gave my parents her blessing. Her promise was complete. Because of the war the only living relative on my mom's side of the family is our grandma, and to my mom, her aunt. I feel as if my grandma struggled to survive the war in order to keep her promise to her sister."

It's weird to discover a treasure you had inside of you all along.
It's like the saying that saying, "In this world your either somebody, or a nobody"
The part that always gets omitted is the one that give this saying meaning,-
"and the only one that makes that decision is you."
Who are you?
I'm Indira Gutierrez, I'm a somebody.

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