Friday, April 24, 2009

it's over - he's gone

After so much effort, and trust I was beginning to reestablish, he betrayed me again. perhaps worse than ever before. I gave him one last chance and he blew it. Blew it in such a way that i was completely unmoved by his tears as he begged me to stay with him.
I've been through this too many times. I'm to young and pretty to be with a guy like this. I left my family, sacrificed my school, and went through so many hardships with him. I thought that he had changed but because I had a guy feeling I always kept a close eye on him. In the end it didn't matter because it was my mom who found the e-mails.
My dad confronted the the two of us. He had no words to defend himself, and I had no desire to do so for him.
I knew he had done it again. Even after he had begged and cried, and made me promise I'd give him another chance. I did, and here we were again.
I took him outside and the first and only thing I had to say was said, "It's over."
Our conversation did not deviate from that theme. I wanted it to sink in that it really was over. completely.
In the end he said he would be leaving. I offered to take his suitcase to the car, and before he could answer I, along with my dad were placing his cloths and a blanket into the backseat of his already cluttered car.
We talked a little more, I explained to him that I had given him a chance and he had chosen to blow it. He said he was going to prove to me that he was a good man. I yawned.
In the end I parted ways without a hug or kiss. Without so much as a glance over my shoulder. Our game lasted a year and two months.
I felt anger more than anything at the fact that my family, and I, had trusted him so completely, and how he betrayed our trust and mocked me, our relationship and just took everything for granted.
Yet when my family and I sat at our dinning room table, later that night, I did not shed any tears. My mother commented on how strong I was being. But the truth is this moment has been months in the making, and I had been, if not emotionally, then at least mentally ready.
Later that night I changed my myspace and facebook profile status to single. I sent a few messages to Jesus, who can't seem to get away from me, he always seems to find a way to find me no matter how hard I try to get away from him. I figured that since now I'm single I should go ahead and see where things go.
I feel like laughing because just the other day Erick was in my office kissing and hugging me and when a few coworkers saw me I felt a little proud that we looked like such a good couple.
24 hours later, I'm single. But it's good that way guys at the office won't hit on me as much because they think I have aboyfriend. I need a break from guys


jesus1b said...

its funny

jesus1b said...
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