Friday, October 19, 2007

Arizona has done to me what rehab couldn't do for amy winehouse

I just realized a lot has happened since I moved from salt lake city Utah. And what I first viewed as a tragedy, I now see as what was a great opportunity to grow, which I'm glad I experienced, but I'm even more glad to be over with.
Had it not been for my moving out here to Arizona and experiencing some discomfort, from my oh-so-cushy, and sheltered life, I might have never experienced the great and admittedly not so great, moments.
As my time here is nearing an end, (yeah right I still have like 7 months and 2 weeks left,- at most though.) I 'm beginning to reflect on my time here and the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The good is definitely really striking to me now, probably because for the past year or so I've been in this stupid, moody, apathetic teenager, woe-is-me perpetual state of mind with only brief moments of maturity where I would say, "It's not so bad, it's just different" and truthfully it's not bad at all. It's just a completely different setting, I was forced to break out of my shell like an egg being hurled at a brand new car. Reality is harsh, but sometimes that cold splash of water in the face is just what we need to wake us up from our cozy and sheltered sleep. That "harshness" I experienced this past year, including moving to a new state, loosing my Friends, attending a new school, making new friends, find a job for the first time, and dealing with school, was just the bitter sweet taste of "the real world" little did I know this bitter pill was called life, and that really it was not so bitter after all but a little strong maybe, showing me that, "Independence and freedom may be great, but they come at a price."
All in all, I'm glad I came to "Surface of the sun/hell" Arizona as I called it, and I'm even MORE glad to be planning my exit. Even if it is 7months and 2 weeks in advance...what can I say? I'm a very organized person.
As for the NOW which I constantly reminding myself is more important to enjoy than the then and stressing too much about the future, though all are important; I'm excited because Halloween is right around the corner and as a self respecting teen, I'm not about to sit around and do nothing, as well as I'm not about to go out and trick-or-treat like some junior or something, (lol) so I'm planning a Halloween party.
Here's hoping all goes well

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